Skincare Isn’t Selfcare If It’s Stressing You Out
I went through my first real acne phase during COVID. Before that, I would get little bumps here and there, but nothing serious. Then suddenly my cheeks were covered. And as a Black girl, the acne did not just go away. It left behind dark brown spots that made my cheeks look like Bambi freckles.
At first I used Ambi soap because that is a very common Black skincare staple. It was okay. It did not make things worse, but it definitely did not fix the problem.
Then I switched to CeraVe. It actually helped clear up my active acne, but the dark marks were still there. So even though the bumps were gone, my skin still did not look how I wanted it to.
After that, I tried black soap. And I am not even going to lie, it did absolutely nothing for me.
Eventually I went back to CeraVe, but this time I realized I had been using the wrong one. I was using the one for oily skin when my skin is actually dry. Once I switched to the hydrating version, it made more sense for my skin.
Then I hit a phase where I just got tired. I started using that apricot scrub because I wanted my face to feel clean, but I was not really focused on fixing anything anymore. I felt like nothing was going to work anyway. Very dramatic of me, but that is genuinely how it felt at the time.
Everything changed when I found out about Korean skincare toward the end of my senior year of high school. That is when I actually started learning about ingredients instead of just buying whatever was trending.
I started using Anua products, The Ordinary serums, a glycolic acid toner, Black Girl Sunscreen, and Bio-Oil. The only thing I eventually switched was my toner because the first one was not doing much for me. I changed it to a milk tea toner and that worked better with my skin.
For a while I also added vitamin C serum and retinol, and that combination actually made a difference. My skin started looking brighter and more even instead of just less acne-filled.
After my freshman year of college, I started using PanOxyl 4 percent, and I cannot even lie, it works so well for breakouts. The only downside is that it dries my face out badly. I literally have to layer like three moisturizers to bring my skin back to life. But I do think it is helping.
I also started shaving my face and using a clay mask to pull out buildup and oil. That combination has been working for me so far.
Now I am realizing I need to be more intentional about seasonal skincare. What works in the summer does not always work in the winter. I am thinking about switching my moisturizer to Vaseline for the colder months just to lock everything in and see if that makes a difference.
The Real Point
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, skincare stopped feeling like selfcare and started feeling like stress. I was constantly switching products, analyzing my face in the mirror, and feeling like I was failing at something that is supposed to be normal.
Now I am trying to look at it differently. My skin is allowed to change. I am allowed to experiment. And not every breakout is a crisis.
Skincare is supposed to help you feel good. If it is making you anxious, overwhelmed, or obsessive, then something needs to change.
And I am still learning that.